“The (Almost) Perfect Guide to Imperfect Boys” and Indoctrination to the Culture of Categorization for Middle School Girls

When I wrote my very first blog post on the “unequal nature of equality,” I highlighted the significantly different ways in which men and women view each other stemming from how the message of equality is quite differently taught to boys and girls.

Men are biologically wired to treat women with kindness, and while there are exceptions, it certainly wasn’t difficult to indoctrinate men into a culture where they understood women as true-to-the-word equals: potentially friends, intellectual peers, worthy of their own opinions and voice with a valid world view based on their individual life experiences.

And men are taught, by every facet of modern life- government, academia, and the media- that both sexes possess the same equitable understanding of inter-gender dynamics; in fact, a man thinking any other way would be accused of misogyny.

The underlying narrative that governs the teaching of equality is anything but equal; boys are taught that they are somewhat responsible for a girl’s success and comfort, even when it is to their detriment, and girls are taught that their success and comfort should always be primary even when it is to the detriment of a boy (or, really, anyone else).

From an evolutionary perspective this is business as usual as men are disposable and women are valuable; a man’s value is derived from what he is able to contribute. This would be fine, as this is in line with Human Nature, but that is not what we teach boys and young men.

Boys are taught that men and women are quite literally the same in every way except for a minor difference in genitalia. And, historically, when all the naughty men were off building our civilization they were also systematically oppressing all of the victimized women; according to Feminist theory, this historic oppression has trickled down to a modern landscape where boys hold an invisible backpack of privilege and girl’s fight against a perpetual tide of oppression at every turn.

This creates a climate where boys understand the concept of being a Good Man as putting women first in all regards, and girls who feel entitled to the success of the most successful man. At maturation, this foundation breeds a generation of polite men, able see the humanity in women, who end up baffled by the disgust they engender by showing weakness, and women who openly reduce and objectify men.

From a biological perspective, it is necessary for a woman to be able to efficiently categorize potential mates and suitors.  For the sake of simplicity in mate selection, women are able to sort all men into one of three categories (although, they can admittedly be somewhat nuanced: 1) The Alpha Male, 2) The Beta Male, and 3) The Omega male.  

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James Hetfield and Modern Day Pedestal Smashing

In my last post I examined eighteenth century pedestal smashing in the form of Jonathan Swift’s poem “The Ladies Dressing Room” where a naive young gent discovers that his cherished girlfriend is an illusion made up of glue, clay, and colored wax. His inexperience with women was evident in his clumsy discovery that women also take nasty, steamy dumps just as men do.

In his writing “The Ladies Dressing Room,” Swift probably felt the same feelings a lot of modern men have with women- that their willingness to so readily deceive through both aesthetics and behavior is not only immoral, dishonorable, and crude but also greatly skews the sexual marketplace in their favor where the majority of men already have women on a pedestal; to a greater or lesser extent depending on the depth of their own experience with women.

Enter James Hetfield. 

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“The Lady’s Dressing Room” (1732) and the Nature of Sympathetic Love

Oh! Celia, Celia, Celia shits!

I had first encountered Swift’s cutting poemThe Lady’s Dressing Room as an undergraduate English major in a class being taught by an adjunct who wasn’t much older than me at the time. There is no way to know why he included this piece as part of his curriculum for the class, but after reading it aloud he ranted about its “vile misogynistic nature.”

Truth be told, I scratched my head, raising my hand in earnest to ask, “maybe this is more about showing that women are just as human as men, and maybe it was written for men who put women on a pedestal?”

The geek professor balked at my dissent and quickly moved on.

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“Can we make them talk about your father?”: Reclaiming Respect for Fatherhood

In my review of the Simpsons pilot from 1989, I detailed how the series initially dealt with Homer Simpson; illustrating how the already decaying respect for Fatherhood was razed to the ground in a relatively short period of time by Feminists.

From the initial patriarchy smashing of first wave Feminists, the goal was always for manhood, and subsequently Fatherhood, to be a thankless position. It would still be dutiful, it would still carry the same responsibility, but the sense of entitlement to that responsibility would increase infinity.

A Father was not entitled to respect for existing as a Father.

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“Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” (1989) and the Diminished Respect for Fatherhood

The very first episode of The Simpsons, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” debuted the series on December 17th, 1989– roughly twenty-five years ago (I was there watching it live), launching the series and the family into the forever consciousness of pop-culture. I recently re-watched the episode and it shocked me how different the series was when it initially aired.

Watching an episode of today’s Simpsons reveals an entirely different show. The Homer character, while likable and endearing, is emasculated, negligent of others, and mentally handicapped.

Upon re-watching the first episode, Homer is instead presented as a sympathetic, under appreciated father whom, despite his best efforts, finds tremendous difficulty in providing a perfect family life for his wife and children.

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Dove study finds most women believe they are average looking; Dove finds results inadequate and vows revenge

If you were faced with two doors to a shopping center, one labeled “Beautiful” and the other “Average,” which would you walk through?

In its latest inspiration-via-advertising campaign, Dove set up labeled entrances in Shanghai, San Francisco, London, Sao Paulo and Delhi, and filmed the results. Unfortunately, and maybe unsurprisingly, many women chose to slink by unnoticed under the “Average” sign rather than display to the world that they acknowledged their beauty. It’s all part of the company’s new #ChooseBeautiful advertising campaign, which aims to change the instinct to settle for average.

A recent survey by Dove found that 96% of women do not choose the word “beautiful” to describe how they look…

– Here’s What Happens When Women Decide to Call Themselves Beautiful, Time Magazine

So the vast majority of women see themselves as average. The vast majority see themselves as average when their choices are limited to “beautiful” or “average.”

As you might imagine, this is a problem…

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“All vaginas are the same size~!!11” and the Unequal Nature of Equality

Men are universally able to separate all female acquaintances into two categories: women we want to fuck, and the rest.

The more of a beta-doofus you are the more likely it is that you want to fuck everyone you know, but for any man with a shred of dignity there will typically be a line drawn between potential fucks and “the rest.”

A female not being on our literal “to do” list doesn’t mean we want them to fall off the face of the planet or die in a fire, and it certainly doesn’t mean we wouldn’t lend a hand if they were falling off a cliff- it quite literally means that we don’t want to have sex with them. And it is this distinguishing detail that opens up the rather new, from a generational standpoint, possibility of becoming just friends with a woman.

 “None of these girls want to be your girlfriend…”

It’s twenty years later and I still remember the uncomfortable feeling my Dad’s blunt assessment produced.

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