She doesn’t love you. She loves her idea of you. This may be a close approximation of you, but it isn’t you and it never will be. She doesn’t want to see your humanity; it’s unsightly and weak. It will never match her idea of you. She loves the value you provide. She loves to believe in your leadership, and to rely on your conviction. This isn’t you, even if it’s a close approximation. You will never match the idea she has of you, and when this idea becomes damaged beyond repair, she will leave you if she has other options or resent you if she doesn’t.
This is the true Red Pill a modern man must swallow. This isn’t about Feminism, or modernity, or promiscuity; this is age old. Women do not love sympathetically. The Red Pill is the modern man’s burden like understanding the reality of death is the human burden. The Red Pill was not necessary in a time when the Western World was constructed in a manner that allowed for male naivety; a naive man meant a happy man meant a productive man.
A girl I dated a few years ago had a mother who was extraordinary ugly. She was short, and fat, with a face full of warts, and a little boy crew cut. She was disgusting and annoying. On some level I feel it necessary to mention that the girl I dated was adopted; this horrifying woman did not bear her own children. When I would join the girls and their mother (the father had skipped town) at holiday events hosted by family friends, this woman would often break down in tears at the table and would need to be consoled. This happened with such regularity that I knew it was coming in the minutes before it started, like the crisp air that precedes a rain storm. Her breakdown happened in the interim between dinner and dessert, while the coffee was brewing.
This woman was a drain on everyone around her, but she still garnered tremendous attention and constant favors. This was because she understood her place as the ugly woman. The ugly woman is able to play on the sympathetic tendencies of the people around her, and exploit them for gain. Any woman beyond hope of being viewed as average should have an inherit understanding of how to exploit the sympathies of those around her, even if they aren’t conscious of this methodology- like how a child learns to manipulate their parents.
In The Satanic Witch (1970), Anton LaVey describes the dynamics of the above scenario, which I term Ugly Girl Game:
The truly ugly girl has others at a disadvantage, because rather than hurt her feelings, they will do things for her out of guilt. If you are homely and light-hearted and call others’ attention to it, they will think you are a swell sport, talk about what a shame it is behind your back and try to avoid appearing patronizing in your presence…
If you are strange looking and act like you don’t really think so, trying to look as much like others as possible, they will still talk behind your back but a little more cruelly. When you are in their presence their guilt at having done so… will cause them to be extremely patronizing. Neither of these patterns really gains you respect, only sympathy.
While I don’t entirely agree with LaVey, reading this as a teenager served as my introduction to Ugly Girl Game and sympathetic manipulation. The mistake LaVey makes is in assuming that women need respect. Respect is a man’s game; it is useless to a woman. Women only need an avenue to manipulate; if a woman is on the desirable end of the attraction spectrum, she will ooze value and be able to manipulate men and woman by her mere existence. Women in the middle will develop manipulative tactics that play on her aesthetic strengths and ability to garner sympathy. The ugly girl will only have sympathy to exploit, and will come to rely on it.
Respect is a man’s game. Respect is necessary for a man. A man who others are unable to respect will only inspire disgust. A disgusting man will not garner sympathy like a disgusting woman would; he only inspires revulsion and social exclusion. This is why we say that a man’s worth is based on value and a woman’s worth is inherent, because women always have a safety net of sympathy to exploit.
An attractive woman’s game is ultimately to inspire sympathy. A woman will first cast a wide net with her appearance, and then ensnare a desirable man with the promise of sexuality- this step was formerly a display of femininity and domesticity, but inside a culture of promiscuity, women feel the need to slam their cunts on the table with urgency.
Once a man is interested, the female game shifts from attempting to manipulate him sexually to attempting to manipulate him emotionally as she casts herself in a sympathetic light. It will appear that she is a fragile girl lost in a big scary world; that she’s a little bundle of sweetness, with lots of emotions, and all she needs is a big, tough, rugged man to take care of her!
So he shouldn’t be a dick about it and make her cry!
She’s like this really cute puppy begging for attention… are you gonna start beating the shit out of a little puppy?
Most men will fall for this without much prodding. Every part of Western Culture is constructed for a man to buy-into this fantasy; men are not meant to understand this as manipulation. We would not have a functional civilization had men not believed that women are creatures of deep morality and honest simplicity. Women are genuine; women are wonderful. Women need men to protect them from the harsh realities of the world. The world is duplicitous and frightening; women are meant to be kept from this under the protection of a capable man.
There are two things in the world worth more to a man than any sum of money; a positive identity and a dick. Would you trade your dick for a billion dollars? Kind of funny that the same lump of flesh between your legs that you pull on at 3AM while looking at Russian cam girls is worth more to you than an entire Las Vegas casino. Whats the point if you’re not fucking endless sorority girls?
Arguably, a positive male identity is just as important as sex; a man needs to be respected.
The expectation for a man to possess some degree of personal depth is a reaction to the shallow nature of women. There is no true depth to a woman; the reality of woman is that she exists as a facade. A woman will use whatever means available to create the most desirable appearance possible, she will offer her body to a desirable man, and then use her tactics of sympathetic manipulation in order to retain his interest. A woman will only care about her identity in terms of perception; if the people around her perceive her positively, the facade has been a success and no further work is needed.
Men need to feel an authenticity to their depth. Men don’t want to be handed the gold medal, men want to earn it. Winning the lottery would be nice, but a man would much rather earn his wealth. Earned wealth carries with it a deeper meaning. Earned wealth tells the story of the man who earned it; it creates an inherent respect and value for the man.
A man needs to feel respected, a man needs to feel valuable, and a man needs to feel needed. Women use sympathetic manipulation to capitalize on a man’s need for a positive identity.
Ideally a woman would use her aesthetic allure to attract the highest quality male possible, and then use her manipulative skills for good by inspiring this man to reach his full potential. This is the true value of woman and feminine energy. It should not be diminished or erased.
If the modern male naivete is in not understanding the duplicitous and shallow nature of women, the modern female naivete is in believing the myth of the strong, independent woman (the masculine woman). The masculine woman will misunderstand how to attract a high quality male; she will not look to exist in a supporting role. The masculine woman will want to emasculate the men around her and will only attract a beta-male whom she will never truly respect and grow to resent. A masculine woman is a toxic combination of mental damage and horrifying stupidity.
When the masculine woman reaches an age where her looks have diminished to a point where there is no turning back, she will shame the younger generation of women into discarding the attributes that naturally attract men: traditional beauty, girlishness, and femininity. The masculine woman will insist that embodying these attributes is shameful, and only serve to make a woman look unintelligent and unsophisticated. The masculine woman will explain that men do not respect a girl who isn’t trying to emasculate them, and that men are most attracted to women whom they greatly respect.
This is the sexual strategy of the masculine woman. You didn’t really think she believed any of this bullshit, did you? The masculine woman understands that she could never compete with 23-year-old Britney Bigtits, so she uses her power of manipulation to disarm Britney at the gate while trying to convince men that “big firm tits aren’t as hot as life experience.”
So the masculine woman convinces a ton of girls to dye their hair green and act like loud mouth pigs while just enough beta-males believe that being a good man means dating a girl on the decline, which I suppose sounds better to the masculine woman than a lonely life of mental illness.
The masculine woman is embodied by Beyonce’s urban-bachelorette-party anthem “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it).” There is nothing sexy, charming, or inviting about this song when viewed as a sexual strategy. Thematically the song is promoting using shame to demand commitment- only a beta-male would fall for this, and ultimately this beta-male will be unsatisfying to the masculine woman.
The traditional approach to sympathetic manipulation is seen in Taylor Swift’s charming video for “You Belong With Me.”
If the video emotionally resonates with you, it should. If it leaves you feeling empty and depressed, it should do that too.
Welcome to The Red Pill.
Swift plays a beautiful geek with a heart of gold living next door to a handsome football player with an unreasonable girlfriend. Lyrically, the song is about disqualifying the girlfriend and allowing Swift to win by default:
You’re on the phone with your girlfriend
She’s going off about something that you said
‘Cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do
I’m in my room
It’s a typical Tuesday night
I’m listening to the kind of music she doesn’t like
And she’ll never know your story like I do
The song isn’t about Swift necessarily being the better choice but instead Swift being savvy enough to manipulate the man into thinking that she is. With this, Swift calls attention to her awkward geek status thereby earning sympathy:
She’s cheer captain
And I’m on the bleachers
There is no rational explanation to why this would disqualify the girlfriend, or make Swift seem more desirable… yet it resonates because a sympathetic woman is charming to a man. A sympathetic woman helps bolster a man’s masculine identity. Swift provides the blue print here for manipulating a man to commit.
Notice how geek Swift has no reservations about feeling entitled to a highly desirable man; Swift is certainly not attracted to her male equivalent. She also has nothing to offer beyond being a cute doofus.
Reversing the genders in the above scenario illuminates how a sympathetic approach only works for women. Imagine a man trying to disqualify his sexual competition by saying, “he’s the chief of surgery, and I’m unemployed.” It’s laughable.
The Emotional Pedestal initially meant that a man would stick around long enough to care for his wife beyond her child bearing years. In a world where people remained married ’til death, it wasn’t something a man needed to think about.
The true difference between The Red Pill and The Blue Pill is in the understanding that women are wired to exploit male sympathy. The sad reality of modern living is how vital this information has become.
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