Movies Are For Girls: “Terminator: Genisys” (2015)

“Hollywood only makes two movies.  The Boy’s Movie and The Girls’ Movie.” – Delicious Tacos

Modern Hollywood has a genius racket going where they actually now sell boy-movies written as girl-movies. Hollywood has redefined the boy-movie to primarily appeal to girls in its writing and thematics with the idea that boys are only looking for familiar shapes and colors.

A boy wants to believe he’s seeing a boy-movie. This idea is easily satisfied by putting Iron Man or Spider-Man on the screen. The shapes are familiar and the boy is happy. This is all the boy is getting. Anything further is intended for girls (and maybe the social conditioning of boys- lucky us).

The modern NFL is the reversal of this formula; the content is for boys, so the shapes and colors are for girls, resulting in a hardly watchable mishmash of garbage.

While I should have called it a day after seeing Nolan’s masterful “The Dark Knight” (2008) in theaters, I maybe had one too many beers on the forth of July, and was convinced to venture once more to the movie-house and see “Terminator: Genisys” (2015), and of course quickly realized that I had been had.

“Terminator: Genisys” is an apology letter for “The Terminator” (1984). It’s more of a do-over than a remake.

You can actually track the progression of the boy-movie summer blockbuster to it’s current state of girl-movie by taking a quick look at the Terminator franchise. In “The Terminator,” Sarah Conner is a typical woman who finds herself in an extraordinary situation by-chance, and while she needs the protection of Kyle Reese, when he is incapacitated she successfully rises to the occasion of being pro-active in her own defense.

I doubt my Belarusian grandfather had ever seen “The Terminator,” and maybe his generation would have scoffed at the progressive idea that a woman can defend herself against a future robot, but movies should service some degree of fantasy- in that, I find “The Terminator” acceptable.

“Terminator 2: Judgment Day” (1991) begins the apology tour for the initial movie having had the audacity to place a confused waitress under the protection of a trained soldier. An adult male-lead is deleted from the film entirely and replaced by a redefined Sarah Conner as a strong, independent single-mom. New Sarah doesn’t need a man to protect her, and if she runs into trouble, she has a big, hulking beta-male robot to help out (“muscle”). Important to note that Sarah’s primary motivation is protecting her son, not necessarily saving the world, which is more of a side-quest. While masculine Sarah serves as an apology for her prior incarnation, motherhood is what primarily motivates her beyond selfless duty.

While T2 certainly corrects the error of the helpless Sarah Conner in “The Terminator,” it consequently presents two significant oversights which needed correcting in the 2015 update: Sarah Conner prioritized motherhood, and didn’t have a male-lead to emasculate for two hours- enter “Terminator: Genisys.”

Even if the progression of Sarah seems a bit cartoonish from the initial movie to its sequel, I’m willing to accept that Sarah could be motivated to act by self-preservation in “The Terminator” and by motherhood in “Terminator 2,” however in “Genisys” we reset to a sexy, single Sarah Conner unburdened by icky motherhood.

If you didn’t see “Terminator: Genisys,” don’t worry, no one really did, but saw “The Force Awakens,” the female characters are entirely interchangeable. Both are beautiful, but neither are feminine. Both are selfless; they’re only motivated by self-preservation and social duty. Both are competent in all things including physical combat and intellectual prowess. And both are far more capable than any of the dumb men around them.

Even the hack-title, “Genisys,” feels calculated and deliberate with it’s Y-replacement of the proper spelling. The film, of course, takes its name from The Bible which presents the traditional gender hierarchy of man/woman. The Y-replacement here signals a redefinition of that starting point, the fruition of our matriarchal new world order.

Traditional spelling is just so patriarchal.

And thus what you have with “Terminator: Genisys” is two-hours of a pretty little girl emasculating a faux alpha-male until he’s reduced to pure-beta along side a beta-robot father figure to do her bidding when needed (“muscle”); a two-hour, nearly pornographic, female fantasy disguised as an action movie.

So, fuck it, Hollywood movies are made for girls that trick idiot boys into seeing them using familiar shapes and colors. I’m out. I’m done. Fuck it. Except maybe “Batman vs. Superman,” because, you know, Batman.

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  4. Matt · February 24, 2016

    How have I never seen your blog before!?

    Anyway, I hope you do a review of Batman vs Superman, because I refuse to see it, even when it’s out on cable after midnight. Leaving aside all the idiocy about whether the two should, or would, or could fight, there’s Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. That’s going to be the epitome of female power fantasies.

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  10. Bob Geldof · July 10, 2016

    Fuck movies in the face. I’ve never liked TV or movies anyway. Time to chuck it all out the window Pink Floyd style.

    TAKE THAT FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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